Learning to Wait - Executive Functioning and Autism

Waiting is hard—even for adults. So when young children, especially those with autism or other developmental differences, struggle with waiting, it’s completely understandable. Fortunately, ABA therapy (Applied Behavior Analysis) offers practical strategies to help teach children how to wait appropriately—and turn a challenging skill into one they can master over time.

In this post, we’ll break down how you can use everyday situations and ABA techniques to teach waiting skills in a calm, structured, and supportive way.

Why Waiting Is So Important

Waiting isn’t just about patience—it’s a core life skill that helps children navigate the world around them. From waiting their turn in class to holding off before eating a hot meal, children encounter countless moments each day that require self-regulation.

For children with autism, waiting can be especially tough due to difficulties with communication, understanding time, or coping with delayed gratification. But that’s exactly why it’s a great skill to focus on using applied behavior analysis methods.

Everyday Opportunities to Practice Waiting

You may not realize it, but opportunities to teach waiting happen all day long:

• You're on the phone, and your child wants to talk to you

• It's lunchtime, but the food is still cooking or needs to cool down

• Your child wants to go outside, but it's raining

• You're helping a sibling, and they need to wait for their turn

While these are great natural moments to reinforce waiting, they're not always the best time to teach the skill—especially if your child is already feeling impatient or overwhelmed.

How ABA Therapy Approaches Teaching Waiting

In ABA therapy, teaching waiting is often broken down into small, manageable steps and practiced in controlled settings before it’s expected in real life. Here's how you can apply that same approach at home.

1. Practice During Calm Moments

Don’t wait until your child is hungry or upset to teach waiting. Instead, set up practice scenarios when things are calm and you're both available.

For example:

• Pretend to be on the phone while your child plays nearby.

• When they come to you, say: “Wait.”

• Then count out loud: “One… two… okay, thanks for waiting!”

• Immediately reward them with your full attention, praise, or a preferred item.

This mimics what happens in a real situation but removes the stress and urgency.

2. Gradually Increase the Wait Time

Once your child is successful with a 2–3 second wait, slowly increase the time:

• Move to 5 seconds

• Then 10 seconds

• Then 30 seconds, and eventually 1 minute or more

This step-by-step process is a key feature of ABA, known as shaping—reinforcing small steps toward a larger goal.

3. Use Visual or Auditory Supports

As the wait times increase, it helps to use visual timers, countdowns, or visual schedules so your child knows what’s expected and how long the wait will last.

Examples:

• A sand timer or countdown app

• Picture cards showing the wait-wait-wait-go sequence

• A timer with sound to signal when waiting is over

These tools support children who learn best with visual or sensory input—something commonly addressed in ABA therapy.

4. Apply It to Real-Life Situations

Once your child has had success in practice sessions, begin applying it to real-world situations:

• “I'm on the phone. Please wait.”

• “It’s not time to eat yet. You can play while you wait.”

• “We can’t go outside right now. Let’s wait until the rain stops.”

Make sure to praise their effort and continue to reinforce any progress: “Great job waiting!” or “Thanks for being patient.”

When to Seek More Support

If your child continues to struggle with waiting despite consistent practice, it may be helpful to work with professionals trained in ABA therapy. A qualified behavior therapist can create individualized strategies tailored to your child’s needs and learning style.

In applied behavior analysis, therapists use data-driven methods to identify what motivates your child, what might be making waiting hard, and how to build skills in a way that feels manageable for them.

Building Patience Takes Practice

Waiting is a skill that takes time—and practice—to develop. But by using ABA strategies, you can teach your child how to wait in a way that’s clear, consistent, and encouraging.

Start small. Practice often. Celebrate every win.