If you're a parent navigating challenging behaviors, you’ve come to the right place! As part of our ongoing educational series, this post dives into why kids with autism behave the way they do and how ABA therapy can be a game-changer in helping your child thrive.
Understanding the "Why" Behind Behaviors in Children with Autism
At Into the Spectrum, one of the core principles of ABA therapy is understanding why certain behaviors occur. Once we identify the function of a behavior, we can create strategies to reduce unwanted behaviors and replace them with more positive, appropriate ones. We call these “functions” the 4 A’s:
Access: The child wants access to something tangible, like a toy or a snack.
Attention: The child is seeking your attention, whether positive or negative.
Avoidance: The child is trying to avoid something they don’t want to do, like a task or interaction.
Automatic: The behavior itself feels good to the child, such as stimming or repetitive actions.
Now that we know why the behavior happens, the big question is—what do you do about it?
Using ABA Therapy to Address Behaviors
In ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), we focus on creating positive change by decreasing unwanted behaviors and reinforcing positive, appropriate ones. Here’s a simplified version of what we recommend:
Stop reinforcing the problem behavior: If your child throws a tantrum to get something, don’t give in. Whether they’re seeking attention, access to an item, or trying to avoid a task, it’s important not to reward the negative behavior. This process is known as "extinction" in ABA therapy, meaning the behavior eventually fades away when it no longer achieves the desired result.
Teach alternative, positive behaviors: In ABA therapy, we don’t just focus on stopping negative behaviors; we teach new, appropriate ways for children to get their needs met. If your child is acting out for attention, you can teach them to say, “Excuse me” or “Can I have help?” instead of screaming or hitting. When they use their words, reward that positive behavior immediately.
The Toy Store Meltdown
Let’s use a common example many parents have experienced. You’re at the store, and your child asks for a toy. You say no, and then they start to scream, cry, or even throw themselves on the floor. You’re in public, and it’s hard not to give in just to calm things down—but here’s why you shouldn’t.
If you give them the toy after the tantrum, you’re teaching your child that screaming and acting out is the way to get what they want. Next time, they’re more likely to go through the whole routine again because it worked. In applied behavior analysis, we encourage parents to hold firm, even if the behavior escalates at first. This is called an "extinction burst," and it will pass if you stay consistent.
Instead, encourage your child to ask for the toy calmly the first time. If they do, you can choose to reward that behavior. If not, don’t give them the toy at all.
Stick with It: Consistency is Key
Changing behavior with ABA therapy requires patience and consistency. The first few times you try not to give in to unwanted behaviors, things might get worse before they get better. But trust the process—it will improve. If you need help staying strong, remember this: you're not just ignoring your child; you’re helping them develop better, more functional ways of interacting with the world.
Teach Positive Behaviors
Alongside stopping the negative behavior, ABA therapy focuses on teaching children with autism what to do instead. For example:
If your child is acting out for attention, teach them to tap someone’s shoulder or call their name.
For avoidance behaviors, you can teach them to ask for a break.
If they engage in behaviors for automatic reasons, like sensory seeking, provide a suitable alternative, like playing with a marble tower or sensory toys.
How ABA Therapy Can Help Your Child
We know that parenting a child with autism can be both rewarding and challenging. That’s why applied behavior analysis is such a powerful tool—it helps to shape behaviors in ways that improve both your child’s and your family’s daily life. By addressing the function behind your child's actions, you can start making meaningful, long-lasting changes. By focusing on these principles and staying strong, you're setting your child up for long-term success. Keep up the great work, and remember—you've got this!
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